Discreet Online Dating

Posts Tagged ‘guy’

Does anyone else share this opinion of online dating. I am an attractive 22 year old woman who has been dating online for the past few months. I have been on quite a few dates and get quite a few emails. Out of ten emails I might respond to one. I just find that there is something missisng with online dating and am wondering if anyone else feels the same way. I feel that any guy I choose will be the same guy every girl chooses because of looks, success, whatever so when I go out with an attractive guy online I feel like I am his 11th date of the day and in competition with every other girl on the site. I know this might be true in real life dating too but I think this feeling is magnified with online dating. When I do go out with a guy more than once I get the feeling like it is only a matter of time before another online girl comes along. I am also getting the feeling that any attractive guy on there is only looking for quick sex.
The whole thing is just strange and I’m finding it difficult to really keep any lasting connections because I have no connection whatsoever to these guys in real life. I feel like online dating would work if I was ok dating unattractive men but because I’m attractive I am looking for an attractive guy. Is this making sense to anyone? Does anyone else feel this way? I want to hear others experiences / opinions.

I met this guy off of one of the online dating services, everything has been good so far…but he is currently going through a divorce for the second time (he 40 and i’m 26), I dont have a problem with the age difference because i have always dated older men. my problem is he’s been hurt not once but twice so now it hard for him to open up and trust…. I’m currently at the point of giving up, not only because of his emotionally rollercoaster, but he like to make promises but never fulfills them..what do you think this is a case of?

I guess it’s kind of sad I have to come here to ask for advice, but as I don’t have any discreet girlfriends to talk to, I don’t have many options. This is going to be a bit long, but please bear with me. All my friends are guys (except for three girls I know online) that I’ve known since freshman year in high school, but there’s one that just isn’t like the rest. I graduated a year early so he’s a senior now and I’m in college, but we’re only a few months apart.

We’ve talked almost everyday (IM and emails and all that) for almost 3 years now, and he doesn’t have a gf. I hang out with a bunch of guys because I love video games and comics so we talk about that type of stuff, but I never ask them for help with other guys, especially considering the way they treat their gf’s. I’m not sure If I like him that way or not yet, but he’s the nearest thing I’ve got to a bf right now, and we’re pretty close. There’s a few reasons I believe he may like me, but I need an outside opinion before I just ask him. The last day of school for me I was too shy to ask him for his number, so I just went to get on my bus, but he chased me down just before I got on and asked me my number, but I told him to give me his instead. For weeks after he sent me texts everyday, can’t remember what we talked about, but the fact that he even bothered surprised me a little. Then we went to just emailing each other (txting costs him extra apparently) everyday, and now we im and email.

There came a point where he started to play a little game with me, he would ask me to guess what girl in our group he had a crush on, and I always said the same girl (one that all my other guy friends seemed to like, she’s nice) and he always said no, but after a while he never mentioned it again. Then a while later he mentioned a gothic girl that used to stalk all pf us (we just ignored her since she never said anything), but she started feeling him up, and of course he liked it. He’s a guy, so I wasn’t mad at him, but he said he was thinking about doing you know what with her, but he didn’t even know her name or how old she was. He asked me if he should do something with her, and I told him it wasn’t a good idea (diseases anyone?), but that he could do whatever he wanted to. The next day he told me he decided not to do anything, but I didn’t comment on it further.

He hasn’t talked about another girl since, and I’m not sure if it’s because he just doesn’t need advice, or if he doesn’t want me to know. Either way I just don’t get him, I know he’s shy, but If a guy likes you wouldn’t he try to mention it? The last things is kinda silly I guess, but it’s something you couldn’t understand unless you were in our group. We always mess with each others hair, most my guy friends are caucasian or spanish so they’ve got pretty long hair, so I mess with them all the time. Eric told me he was going to cut his hair (he’s blond and adorable) and I asked him not to, and after a while he promised he wouldn’t.

It sounds silly I know, but It meant a lot to me since he hates his hair, and he knows I love messing with it. Anyway, he’s taking classes online so he can get out early and hang out with me a little before he leaves for NY. He wants to go to some fancy school there, and I guess he’s made up his mind. I’m not sure if he wants to date me or if he just wants to be good friends, but I want to know before he leaves and I don’t get a chance to say something… emails just aren’t as good as being in person you know? So what do you think is better, just asking him flat out if he likes me or not, or just staying best friends? If he did say yes, then I know we could try and deal with a long distance relationship as we haven’t physically been near each other in a while anyway, but I don’t know how he’ll react. If it turns out that he just wants to be friends then I don’t mind, but I don’t want to go one wondering about it. Yeah I know it’s long, and I’m sorry but any help?

Okay, this is a very odd situation, I will admit that. Im 16 and have always known that I am gay. When I was 13, I had told my 22 year old sister that I thought I was bisexual. In actuality, that was my discreet way of coming out. I was too afraid to fully admit my feelings about other girls. Since then, my Myspace.com and Facebook.com profiles have said that I am either lesbian or bisexual. My grandmother and aunt absolutely HATE me for my sexuality (for religious reasons) and other relatives dislike me as well. Last month I posted a blog saying that I am really lesbian, that Im not ashamed, and that this is who I am, and I cant change this. I assumed that my sister would be the most supportive, especially since I came out to her first and she voted No On Prop 8, etc. But she was angry and sent me strange/mean messages online. In one message, she said that I had to swear on my dogs life that Im really gay, and another she said that she will bet me $100 that Im not really gay. She said, exact words, “If you dont date a guy until your at least 24 years old, then I will give you $100. But if you show any interest in a guy before that time, you owe ME $100. And along with this bet, if you lose, I get to tell mom about your bisexual tenancies.” I have never like guys, but recently a guy that goes to my school wants to take me out on a date. Hes sweet, and while Im not attracted to him sexually or emotionally (although im not blind; I mean, he is good looking) I dont know what to do. With my families hatred and my sisters “bet,” I dont know who to talk to this about. None of my friends know what Im going through, and Im depressed about this whole mess. Last year I told my dad that I think Im gay, and hes okay with it. but what would he think if I go on a date with a guy? My dad is strict and would want to know who Im going out with. And if a guy picks me up, of course my dad will find out. Plus, like I said, none of my friends know about my sexuality, so I cant explain all this to the boy. What should I do? My feelings are sore

so i met this guy online. he wants to experiment with guys like i do and stay discreet as well. but he told me to make the plans…

i dont know what to do? where to go? i mean will people know we’re together? even though we are not.

do i treat this date like my past dates where i went with a girl? i’m lost! help me please. my date is in like 4 hours. id prefer help from heteros gone homo or someone who’s been thru this situation

Hi, i met a guy online back in late december, on match. how speak to him a lot on msn and txt every day loads. i really really like him we have loads in common i mean loads, and get on really well. He suggested that meet up for pizza etc after his exams had finished which was yesterday.

So i txt him saying when are we going for our pizza then and he avoided answering the question. so no date has been set ;’(…. i dont understand because it was originally his idea but for after exams.

We are both gay but both “in the closet” but we understand each others situations and know to be discreet etc untill we’re ready.

Do you think i was too hasty asking him when we should meet up on the day of his last exam??

what should i say to him now, i dont want to come accross as nagging or desperate because i am not.????
It was his idea for the pizza, his suggestion.
You guys are all gr8, . sometimes it is rele easy to overlook the simple things when you are worried about something and read too much into things.