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Online Dating Streamlines Rejection For Women


Websites like Match.com allow sad, lonely women all over the country to invite pain and rejection into their lives with just a few clicks of the mouse. More coverage at: onion.com

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25 Responses to “Online Dating Streamlines Rejection For Women”

  • Shodex4:
    June 9, 2011 at 2:49 AM

    @Jacquelyn104 If thats how you want to put it, sure. But you’re still an idiot for attempting suicide.

  • Jacquelyn104:
    June 9, 2011 at 3:13 AM

    @Shodex4 no a heartless Sociopathic little fuck.

  • Jacquelyn104:
    June 9, 2011 at 3:56 AM

    @Shodex4 My dad fucked me, my mom doesn’t have time or money for me. I cut myself My dad performed identity theft on me when I was 12 years-old, kept me out of school because they didn’t want to show the bruises. I fuck my dog because I’m lonely. I lie habitually, I stalk boys on Facebook, I steal money off of eBay and from stores. I took 11 oxycodone, and then 32 xanax I shouldn’t even be alive. I count when I walk I have a severe anxiety disorder equivalent to PTSD.

  • shadowC10ne:
    June 9, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    @Jacquelyn104 My humble suggestion is that you need to watch other people that have bigger problems and than be thankful for simple things in life. Things like shelter, food, air, water…I’m not kidding here!
    There are a lot of people who don’t have these things. And also you need to have a positive view on life. We all had/have problems which we think we can’t solve but as time moves somehow life sorts itself out.
    Also, you have to accept some things in life. At times you have to endure…

  • nargarothfreak666:
    June 9, 2011 at 5:06 AM

    What a total dickhead is the presentator:P

  • crossfire316:
    June 9, 2011 at 5:37 AM

    @Jacquelyn104 You are loved. And many people, including me would be sad if you were gone.

  • mizzou4life1993:
    June 9, 2011 at 6:36 AM

    I think Elizabeth Doris and Janet Frohwein voted thumbs down..

  • freeonlinedating9:
    June 9, 2011 at 7:01 AM

    If you are tired of being single and bored then give e-datebook a try!! No spam, NO email phishing, NO viruses. E-datebook is a dating website that is gaining popularity around the country. E-datebook lets you search, message, and chat with anyone in the world for free.

    its e-datebook with a dot com on the end!!

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    June 9, 2011 at 7:20 AM

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  • Shodex4:
    June 9, 2011 at 8:20 AM

    @5MeganL I know that, but you’re not one of them. Other wise you, and Jacquelyn104 wouldn’t be whining about it on the internet.

  • 5MeganL:
    June 9, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    @Shodex4 I can see why you call some attention whores. They wear too much eyeliner and brag about suicide attempts or hurting themselves. But not all people with a mental illness are like that. And for most it has nothing to do with appreciation.

  • vertigo0331:
    June 9, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    @Shodex4 You don’t have friends? You seem like such a level headed guy and not an antagonistic, arguementative prick. I’m sure you feel like you put somebody in their place, but you just sound like a douche…

  • Shodex4:
    June 9, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    @treymtz Me too, it’s probably one of my most pressing problems. ;D

  • treymtz:
    June 9, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    @Shodex4 dont worry kid i have something called COD and its pretty fun

  • Shodex4:
    June 9, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    @5MeganL A sensible and intelligent human being who appreciates his/her own life. Hey, I suppose it’s your choice.

  • 5MeganL:
    June 9, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    @Shodex4 I’d rather be an attention whore than anything like you.

  • Shodex4:
    June 9, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    @5MeganL Oh gee, does mommy and daddy not love you? My dad hit me, my mom’s an ass, I have bad ADHD, I have ODD, I have OCD, my family made just enough money to feed us and dress us, I was bullied in school, I got bad grades because of my mental disabilities, I’ve done things to people (some of them friends) I regret to this date, I’ve been single for years.
    But you know what? I would never EVER be stupid enough to take my own life. Frankly, you are the attention whoring scum of society.

  • 5MeganL:
    June 9, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    @Shodex4 It doesn’t matter how good people seem to have it, life can still be a struggle for them. What insensitive people like you don’t understand is that mental illness doesn’t care how good you have it. No wonder us depressed people say people don’t get it! It’s entirely true…

  • freeonlinedating9:
    June 9, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    If you are tired of being single and bored then give e-datebook a try!! No spam, NO email phishing, NO viruses. E-datebook is a dating website that is gaining popularity around the country. E-datebook lets you search, message, and chat with anyone in the world for free.

    its e-datebook with a dot com on the end!!

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  • xHearterx:
    June 9, 2011 at 12:51 PM

    guyyyyys I’m trying to decide which news station is more reliable. Onion or Fox news??
    tough decision =/

    *cough*sarcasm*cough**cough*foxnewsux*cough*cough*
    hehehhhhh sorry bout that I have a bit of a cold.

  • chaosstarr:
    June 9, 2011 at 1:16 PM

    this is my favorite one

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